So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
