goodnight i made you a song goodbye
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
