you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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