i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
