Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
