I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
