help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Houston, we have a blender
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
