bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I cut my penus on the lid.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
