she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
