why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
