Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
