I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
