I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
