Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
either way he was missing a nipple.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
