I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
