Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
3pm strippers are depressing
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
