I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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