the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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