just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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