This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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