i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
