Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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