it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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