who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
someone owes me an orgasm
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
