We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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