You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We need a shit load of segways right now
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
