Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
