there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
