I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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