i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
