YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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