We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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