So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
