they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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