I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
