Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
