someone owes me an orgasm
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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