Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
