just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
