I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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