First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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