Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
