she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
