i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
