Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
