Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
