you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
