GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I am mentally ready for anal.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
