just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
