You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
