So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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