Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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