i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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